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Speakers
Joined: 11 Mar 2010
Posts: 77
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 Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 10:33 pm Post subject: Just a bit of typography. |
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Just some work I did earlier from some song lyrics a friend gave me;
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hawkeye
Joined: 14 May 2009
Posts: 2377
Location: Mesa, Az
OS: Windows 7 Pro 64 bit
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| Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:38 am Post subject: |
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I find it rather difficult to read. |
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tezdread
Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:51 am Post subject: |
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I like it overall, I like the fonts you chose and the colours work well...I did however have to read it more than once so on first look it isn't clear and because of the overlaps it does make it a little difficult to read.
It may look better if you were to reduce the size of the text so it doesn't overlap with anything and change the colour of the white lines because the don't seem to add any value being white.
Not sure where this would be seen? Poster\Flyer\Website etc...
If this is the final wording to be used, there's a couple of things I noticed. You've used a capital T in 'The Earth' but it's not required. Also, 'never experienced' should be 'ever experienced'
Remove 'it's' from 'in it's over 500 million years'. It would read better if it was 'experienced in over 500 million years'
Another thing about the wording is the use of past and future tense. 'resources becoming scarce' is future tense but
'it became vital' is past tense.
We are in the 21st century so unless this is being used in a past\future setting the tense should present. This is how I would word it.
"During the 21st century, mankind has reached a level of consumption the Earth has ever experienced in over 500 million years of evolution. With resources becoming scarce and the world economy approaching collapse, it is vital to our survival that we rethink the very way we live."
Just my thoughts  |
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